How to Anger Celestial Mages For Dummies
by MickyTheSupernaturalMouse
Summary: When a Celestial Spirit Mage makes a promise, they keep it. So when you anger a Celestial Mage and they decided to swear vengeance upon you... they are going to keep that promise no matter what... (Reuploaded w/ some minor edits.)
1. Prologue

**Well... some people might remember this story from a while back... I wasn't really happy with the majority of my stories and deleted a good amount of them but some people enjoyed them so I had them all put into Google Docs and then placed the link to on my Google Drive.**

**I finally decided that since the Fairy Tail anime is closer to being finished, this might be a good time to rewrite this... Let's start with the prologue...**

_Prologue_

Celestial Mages were in their own right, fairly powerful. Their only weakness was the fact that if their keys were stolen, they had no way of getting them back unless they could use Caster Magic, not just Holder Magic. Because Celestial Mages are born, not made, it was nearly impossible to make a switch from their Holder Magic to a Caster Magic, unless it had similar properties, like Heavenly Body Magic, which was the Caster Version of Celestial Spirit Magic.

And whenever a Celestial Mage got angry, they usually had powerful spirits that could back them up, or have adorable spirits like a Nikora that could melt the hearts of many in one single, fatal, and brutal swoop. All spirits had their advantages in battle and their disadvantages – such as Aquarius only being able to be summoned through a water source.

The best Celestial Mages were the ones that could master the Zodiac Keys. Having at least one Zodiac key meant you were powerful enough to cast the ultimate Celestial Spirit Magic spell – Urano Metria. Urano Metria couldn't be repelled – unless you yourself had Magic Nullification Magic and were _very_ powerful. The more Zodiac keys you were contracted with, the more power would be behind the spell – even more so if you had strong bonds between each of the keys.

For Yukino, it was hard learning the spell to keep from over-fatiguing herself to the point where if she failed, she wouldn't be able to go on. Urano Metria ate up a good portion of her magic supply and if she was already running low on magic, she'd pass out from Magical Exhaustion.

For Lucy, it was a bit easier, seeing as how she had ten Celestial Zodiac keys. Each one could become deadly when they wanted to be – which for Aquarius was all the time. Urano Metria became only more powerful when her second origin was unlocked which happened gradually for Celestial Mages due to their enormous magical strength and power – summoning wasn't as easy as it looked.

But either way, angering a Celestial Mage would simply be the best way to commit suicide as they _never_ go back on promises – whether it's a threat or not…


	2. 1: Lucy Heartfilia vs Flare Corona

**#1: Lucy Heartfilia vs Flare Corona**

"This year's first battle will be testing the abilities of Fairy Tail Team A's Zodiac Wielder Lucy Heartfilia against the Crimson Intensity, Raven Tail's Flare Corona." Chapati Lola, the announcer for that year's Grand Magic Games.

"Too bad for you, Blondie." Flare said, head tilted giving her a sadistic and insane look. Her eyes were full of excitement, looking forward to the upcoming battle.

"You can do it Lucy! Knock Miss. Creepy Eyes into the middle of next week!" Natsu yelled from his spot in the stands.

_Trust me, Natsu, this chick is going down!_

"If you win this," Erza said, "It'll keep us in the running!"

Lucy had a fierce look in her eyes, not planning on losing to the crazy girl on the other side of the arena. _Everyone is counting on me. I cannot lose. I will not lose. One decisive blow should be all I need._

"Knock her lights out!" Elfman screamed over the crowd of cheering fans – most likely rooting for Raven Tail as Fairy Tail 'didn't stand a chance'.

_Okay, Lucy. I'm going to have to think smart about this. I have no clue what her magic is so I should start off by testing the waters and adjusting my attack accordingly._

In the stands, Fairy Tail watched with anticipation, waiting for the match to start. Lily was looking at Lucy, noticing her facial expression – he had seen it quite often on Erza Knightwalker whenever she was sent out to take care of Fairy Tail and their blatant refusal to disband their guild to conserve their magic supply. "That's a killer look she has there." he noted.

"She looks like someone lit a fire under her butt." Happy said plainly.

"She knows she's going up against one of Ivan's rats." Makarov said. "I WANT CARNAGE OUT THERE LUCY, YA HEAR?" Makarov shouted, waving his fists around in an intricate pattern.

Though it could barely be heard over the sound of sheer screams of pleasure and the whoops of delight that came from the crowd, Lucy heard it loud and clear, her eyes burning with a desire to decimate Flare in this fight – putting Fairy Tail tied for first place. She promised herself, she would win – and Celestial Mages never break a promise.

"Competitors! Step forward! This entire arena will be your battlefield! So since this is one on one, we've moved your teammates completely off the field." Mato, the mascot of the Grand Magic Games said. "You have a thirty minute time limit."

"Good." Flare said, tilting her head, just adding to her deranged appearance. "Plenty of time."

"I'm not losing to you." Lucy said fiercely, hand on hip and another hand ready to draw a key at a moment's notice. She briefly thought that maybe she should learn some basic requip magic so her keys wouldn't be able to be stolen as easily...

"If you can knock out your appointment or get them to forfeit within the time limit, you win!" Mato said. "I want a good, clean fight. Now, let's rumble!" A person smacked a gong, signally the start of the time limit.

"Here we go. Open, Gate of the Ram, Aries!" Lucy called out. Since she wanted to know this girl's abilities before becoming serious, she needed to exploit her magic and find out its weaknesses. Aries was always a good choice for that. Outwardly, she didn't seem like a very powerful spirit but looks could be deceiving.

"Wool Wall!" Aries shouted, launching a large wall of wool, protecting her from any attacks and also allowed her to see what exactly Flare's magic was.

"You think a little wool's going to stop me Blondie?" Flare taunted, letting her hair down. It flew around, into the form of a wolf. "Hair Shower: Wolf Fang!" _Hair Magic? I haven't seen that since the Tower of Heaven with evil rocker dude and his awful music abilities._

The choice from here was rather simple.

"Open, Gate of the Crab, Cancer!"

"Oh, what's this?" Chapati Lola announced. "Two Celestial Spirits at the same time. That's a rather rare ability, isn't it?"

"Indeed." Yajima said. "While most celestial mages can summon two Celestial Spirits at the same time with training, those two Spirits are almost always both of the silver key variety. It's much rarer to see someone able to summon both a Zodiac and a silver key at once. This is the first time that I've ever witnessed someone able to summon two Zodiacs. It was rumored that Angel of the Oracion Seis had the ability but it was never confirmed."

"So if it's so rare to hold two gates open, I imagine that three gates would be impossible, correct?" Chapati guessed.

"There's only one recorded instance of someone being able to hold open three gates at once and that's from the Matriarch of Celestial Spirit Magic herself - Anna Heartfilia who lived over 400 Years ago. With the ease that Lucy is sustaining those two spirits, I imagine that she should be able to reach the level with a lot of training. She's still young after all." Yajima concluded.

"Cancer," Lucy said, her voice low enough to where only her spirits could possibly understand her, "I want you chop her hair. If it grows back, keep chopping. Aries, I want you to make a lot of wool. Try to get her stuck."

The two spirits nodded as Lucy drew her whip, Fleuve d'étoiles.

While Aries' wool did get burned away from Flare's Crimson Hair attack, Aries was able to make so much that Flare had to make the decision between burning away the wool or defending herself against Lucy's whip.

_Wait, where did the crab go?_ Flare wondered several minutes later, trying to manage between the wool and the whip. She felt a loud snip, as if shears had just closed around a hedge branch. In horror, Flare found that a good majority of the hair that she had been using to burn through Aries' wool had been snipped off by the crab that had snuck behind her, using the wool as cover.

"MY HAIR!" She screamed. "You'll pay for that blondie!" Flare snarled. She lit all of her hair on fire and used what hair she had left - about ⅔ - to attack all three of her opponents.

However, while Lucy wasn't the most powerful battler, she had poured time, energy, and dedication into making her body and magic stronger so her spirits could battle in new ways. Ever since the Phantom Lord incident, she had sworn to never be helpless again. She wasn't about to let a member of the guild that had injured her guild mates get away with another win for the day.

Flare did have a lot of magic power. But she did not have a lot of stamina. Time was not on her side.

Since summoning was a continuous drain of magic power, Lucy had grown used to the drain overtime. Her stamina was not the god levels of Natsu or Erza but she could still easily last a thirty minute battle with no issue. Most battles she got into lasted hours or days - thirty minutes would be no issue.

Eventually, Lucy gained the upper hand on Flare.

"And Lucy Heartfilia is the winner of this match, winning Fairy Tail Team A 10 points! They are now tied with Sabertooth for first place!" Chapati said. Aries returned to the Celestial Spirit World; what was left of her pink wool quickly deteriorated without Aries to sustain it.

Flare on the other hand, had dropped down to the floor of the arena, panting hard. She was quietly sobbing; her beautiful red hair was in pieces around her.

"Cancer, can you fix her hair?"

Cancer nodded and quickly went to work, doing his extra special spell Hair Growth: Scalp Care. The choppy remains of Flare's hair quickly regrew into the normal long red tresses she had started the battle with.

"It seems as Lucy Heartfilia has chosen to help Flare out in a friendly way, sharing no ill will to her." Chapati said.

"What excellent sportsmanship!" Jenny cried from her seat as the Guest Announcer. "It's nice to know that even though they were enemies for the battle, Lucy doesn't want her opponent to suffer."

Lucy walked over to the Fairy Tail side of the arena, several people were screaming, "LUCY! LUCY! LUCY!" It made her have the faintest blush.

Immediately, she was showered in hugs from her teammates and guild mates. "I knew you could do it." Erza said, smashing Lucy's head into her armor.

"Since when have you been able to summon two Celestial Spirits?" Bisca, Alzack, Max, Laki, and other members of the guild that stuck around for the seven years asked.

"Isn't that supposed to be really stressful and power consuming?!" Levy said, "At least that's what it said in this book: Celestial Spirit Magic: The Lost Magic of the Stars."

"You'd be surprised at what I can do whenever I put my mind to it and utterly pissed at my opponent for whatever reason." Lucy said. "Now, I'm going to go take a nap. Summoning two spirits really takes it out me you know?"

As she walked off, several members started doing a hand gesture in the shape of a cross. Others clawed at their hearts with three fingers before pushing them outwards – an ancient gesture for warding off evil.

"Remind me to never piss her off."

Levy nodded at the statement made by Gajeel. "At least she didn't summon three spirits. That's said to be so dangerous that even the attempt alone can kill someone."

And that was the moment most Fairy Tail wizards and everyone who heard the conversation to make silent vows to never ever piss Lucy off. Even Erza, Laxus, and Makarov made this vow, though they didn't know that others had done so as well.


	3. 2: Yukino Agria vs Kagura Mikazuchi

**#2: Yukino Aguria vs Kagura Mikazuchi**

As soon as she heard her name get called, Yukino knew that she was going to lose. Zodiac wielders were dangerous opponents to go up against, but it was also harder for the key wielders to truly reach their full potential without true dedication. Unlike caster magic, which the caster could easily train their body and their magic at the same time, holder magic could only get stronger if the body was trained.

And most of the time, people learned holder magic because they couldn't or didn't want to get fit.

From the sword and what little she had heard about Kagura from her brief mentions in Sorcerer Weekly, it seemed like she was a caster type. Which could easily become a problem...

As she walked out onto the field, nervousness wracked her body and her pale hands wear clammy and soaked with sweat. She wiped them on her skirt, trying to let her nervousness subside. But the battle would start before that would happen.

"It is your bad luck to be standing before a member of Sabertooth." Yukino said, almost arrogantly. She mentally cursed - the members of Sabertooth were starting to affect her. As a little girl, she had wanted to join Fairy Tail - every kid did; it was full of adventure, fun, rebelliousness. Nobody could tell a Fairy what to do. And then Fairy Tail fell from its glorious position and suddenly Sabertooth was the top cat in the food chain. They didn't have the recklessness of Fairy Tail but the image they gave off was one of prestige and glory. They were the #1 Guild in Fiore. From then on, she worked hard to join Sabertooth; obviously, only the best could get in.

She had _barely_ made the cut according to Master Jiemma, but she had been better than all the other applicants. They had common magic with a common amount of skill. She didn't quite have as much finesse as the more prominent members of Sabertooth, but she did have magic that was now considered to be Lost Magic. Jiemma let her in for that reason alone.

She brought the key of Pisces, letting it glow as the gate was ready to open with just a few words.

"Huh?" Kagura said, looking at the key "A golden key. One of those 12 Zodiac Gate things?"

Yukino gritted her teeth. Celestial Spirits weren't _things_. They were people too (or animals... but they were living and had their own feelings). She wanted to pound Kagura's face into the dirt but that would have to be Libra's job.

"Open, Gate of the Twin Fish." Yukino said, "Pisces!"

Pisces came out of their gate in battle mode – their fishy forms that were very similar to an eel, not a fish. Why it was the Gate of the Twin Fish and _not_ Gate of the Eels, Yukino never could understand. They were black and white, almost as if they were Ying and Yang, an ancient concept of the Minstrelian people who lived to the east of the people of Fiore.

Kagura dodged as they attacked, her eyes closed. Yukino was shocked. She had expected Kagura to be good... but good enough to dodge an aerial attack without watching? Yukino was briefly reminded of a book she had read as a child, one of the main characters was blind but that didn't stop the twelve-year-old from controlling the earth as if it were as easy as breathing.

"What a waste. If you're so good at dodging, then all I need to is ground you." Yukino said, bringing out Libra's key. "Open, Gate of the Heavenly Scales, Libra!"

"Two gates? Well like Miss. Heartfilia from yesterday, Miss. Agria is a powerful Celestial Wizard – as we discussed yesterday, maintaining two gates is no easy task!" Chapati said, which made the crowd scream and shout. Yukino resisted the urge to yell that she needed to focus and their screaming was making her _lose_ focus, something she couldn't afford to do, as summoning two really took it out of her.

As Libra appeared, the crowd went wild as they saw her revealing clothing and womanly figure. Hearts could be seen in about half of the men present. "Another stunningly beautiful Zodiac spirit!" Chapati yelled out of the screams of _Libra! I love you!_ and other words of a pervert.

Yajima said, "She's a sight for sore eyes."

Jason, that day's guest announcer yelled out, "Gate of the Scales…COOL!" Yukino resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She had been a loyal subscriber to Sorcerer Weekly since she was 7 – that was 11 years of loyalty and devotion, that was currently about to fly through the window. Though, it's only one reporter… _If I ever meet another reporter and they act like this, they lose my subscription!_

"Libra, alter her gravity."

"As you wish," Libra replied, moving her hands up and down, making Kagura fall to the ground. She was being pushed down by a multitude of pressure – the result of a Gravity Change.

"Pisces!" Yukino commanded, the twin fish already knowing what she was thinking, went to attack. However, Kagura had escaped at the last moment, by jumping.

"Libra, make her gravity make her go sideways."

"As you wish," Libra said, making Kagura fly into a statue.

"Ouch, she was only able to escape the Celestial Spirit's gravity altering for a short time!" Chapati yelled out, "Kagura is pinned to the statue! What a pinch!"

Jason was going crazy in the stands, to the point of standing to the table and screaming out "Gravity is COOL!"

_They lose my subscription_. Yukino decided. "Pisces!"

Pisces fell to the ground. Yukino's eyes widened in horror. _I haven't run out of magic already, which means… no! She can't have Gravity magic! There's no way!_

Libra fell to the ground, saying "I can't move." She was crouching and looked like she was in pain due to the pressure of gravity.

"I see." Yukino murmured. Her plans of winning with Pisces and Libra crashed down. Kagura hit both spirits with her sheathed sword, knocking both of them down. "Pisces, Libra, go back." Yukino said as Kagura hit the ground. If she wanted to at least make a good showing, she was going to need to use her ace in the hole.

"You're going to make me open, the 13th gate?" Yukino questioned her opponent.

Kagura looked shocked, her eyes opened widely. Yukino brought the key of the Snake Charmer, Ophiuchus.

"Opening the 13th Gate… That means you're out of luck." Yukino said. Whenever she used this key, her opponent always fell before her. It was her ultimate key. Still, she doubted that Ophiuchus would be able to beat Kagura, but maybe she'd be able to beat her into a drawl. The gate key glowed purple as it waited for her to say the summoning words.

"Luck, huh?" Kagura questioned. "I haven't relied on that since I was born. Everything has happened due to the choices I've made!" She said, putting her hand on the handle of her sword Archenemy.

"Open, Gate of the Snake Charmer," Yukino started, undeterred by the advancing Kagura.

"That's what's leading me to the future!" Kagura yelled, hand still on the sealed handle of her sword.

"Ophiuchus!" Yukino yelled. The Great Black Snake appeared, the arena turning dark with purple clouds that Ophiuchus reveled in.

As Ophiuchus went to attack, Kagura said, "Blade of Resentment, Archenemy. Style of the Unsheathed Sword." She dodged Ophiuchus' attack, hitting it in the process, making it return to the Celestial Spirit World. Yukino's eyes widened in horror. _Ophiuchus was defeated?_

"I don't believe it," Yukino muttered as Kagura closed in. She hit her, making her fall down.

"Sometimes, Mermaids eat Tigers."

She was laying on the floor and about to be defeated if she didn't act, she'd lose and that meant that she would have to leave the guild in disgrace. She couldn't let that happen. She got up of the ground steadily, and she could hear Chapati yell "But Yukino is not out of it yet. She's bringing herself to her feet! After such a horrible beating, will she be able to fight, or will Kagura win?"

Kagura wasn't going to win. She staggered forward slightly, her hand clenched into a fist. Winning wasn't an option for her. Kagura had backed up to allow Yukino to get up properly.

"So you still have energy? Very well. Let us continue this match."

Yukino knew she wouldn't be able to summon a spirit and sustain it. All of her magic was severely depleted. She may be able to cast a lower-powered version of Urano Metria, but she doubted. She swung her clenched fist, knocking Kagura in the jaw, Kagura hadn't had time to properly register the attack, not even considering this approach. Yukino swung her foot in a wide arc, colliding with Kagura's feet. Yukino's punch had left Kagura slightly disoriented allowing Yukino time to properly sweep Kagura off her feet.

Kagura stumbled slightly. "Hand to hand combat? Could be interesting." Kagura said, setting down her sheathed sword.

"She's setting down Archenemy?" Risley asked from her spot on the Mermaid Heel side of the arena.

"Guess so," Millianna said.

The battle continued on for a few minutes before Kagura and Yukino both released a punch powerful enough to send both of them skidding backward. _Now's my chance. I can cast it._ Yukino thought. _I have to_. She spread her arms out, letting her magical energy flow. She started chanting:

_Survey the Heavens, Open the Heavens…_

_All the stars, far and wide…_

_Show me thy appearance…_

_With such shine._

_Oh, Tetrabiblos…_

_I am the ruler of the stars…_

_My aspect is perfection…_

_Open thy malevolent gate._

_Oh, 88 Stars of the Heaven…_

_Shine!_

_URANO METRIA!_

In the Fairy Tail stand, Lucy's eyes widened. _I wonder where she learned it..._

_Urano__Metria?_ Hibiki wondered.

Kagura, in the midst of the battle, saw the world of the stars, murmuring 'Beautiful', just before being hit.

Both of them hit the floor at the same time, calling a draw.

"With both fighters out of the match, Mermaid Heel and Sabertooth both receive 5 points! With that, let's look at today's scores!"

_Later that night…_

"Yukino Agria. I am disappointed by your performance today. However, it wasn't a complete failure, so you will not be excommunicated... this time." Master Jiemma of the Sabertooth guild said. "You will be replaced by Minerva, who will be arriving later today."

Yukino bowed, accepting her fate. She was glad that she wasn't thrown out, and in a way, that was a win just in itself. Winning was everything to Sabertooth – losing wasn't an option. But she was kind of sad that she wouldn't get to participate in the games. It seemed to be a lot of fun, even though she only participated once.

At least she would be replaced by someone who could win the games for sure. After her battle, she wasn't so sure she would get Sabertooth far in the games. Minerva was better suited for that – Minerva had the experience that Yukino didn't.

Walking back to her hotel room, she changed into her pajamas and quickly fell asleep, tired after her fight only hours before.


	4. 3: Lucy Heartfilia vs Minerva Orland

**Authoress' Note: To the Guest who reviewed the last chapter on September 12th - Thanks so much! Sadly I don't have all of the original anymore. When I first started rewriting this, I decided to do all the updates on a singular document that had the original still in it - so I could sort of stay true to the original but fixing the style, little plot points that made since to me a few years ago but now don't… So, sorry, I can't really fulfill your request. Plus, looking at what my thirteen year old self did to the English language… I don't want it to see the light of day again.**

**#3: Lucy Heartfilia vs Minerva Orland**

"Hmph," Minerva said as she lobbed another sphere of magic at Lucy. "I thought that Fairy Tail would put up a bit more of a fight. Aren't you supposed to be one of those members that were amongst the core? It's hard to believe that they only fell from grace seven years ago. They seem to let just about everyone into their guild. Your pitiful performance thus far speaks for _that_."

This sent the mages of Fairy Tail into an uproar. Was Lucy their absolute most powerful member ever? No. Does that mean that she was useless? Absolutely not.

And even if she _was_ useless, they would have loved her regardless. She understood the bonds that were forged amongst the members of Fairy Tail. Not many did.

"I guess those that claimed that Fairy Tail was the most powerful magic guild seven years ago was wrong. Fairy Tail is, always has been, and always will be _weak_." Minerva sneered as she continued her barrage.

In a true, shounen anime fashion, Lucy muttered something inaudible under her breath. Only those with supernatural hearing would have been able to understand what she was saying.

Minerva stopped her barrage and quirked an eyebrow. "What was that Fairy? Are you surrendering?"

Lucy raised her voice. "Fairy Tail _isn't_ weak."

Minerva laughed. "Of course it is. After all, if Fairy Tail wasn't weak they would have managed to stay afloat these last seven years without those trapped on Tenroujima. But instead they descended into squalor and oblivion. Never to be able to raise themselves out of their pitiful position in life. Doomed to never succeed."

"I'm not going to let you sully Fairy Tail's good name. And before you even try to start that conversation, yes, Fairy Tail's name is good. We are built on friendship, trust, and family. These are the overarching values that have been passed down through the generations by our First Master Mavis. All of these qualities, your guild seems to lack." Lucy retorted. "You may have some pretty powerful members. But your hunger for power and your ruthlessness will get you nowhere in life. So I'm going to beat you and show you what the power of friendship can truly do."

"You sound like a character from that story about the 'magic of friendship'." Minerva rolled her eyes. "Utter bullshit. And let's say you'll be able to beat me. How do you plan on accomplishing that goal… without your keys?" Minerva reached behind her and grabbed the keys that she pulled off Lucy's belt.

Lucy narrowed her eyes. She cracked her knuckles. "It's like you're _trying_ to piss me off." She growled. It was the most un-Lucy thing that the members of Fairy Tail had witnessed.

"I'm not shocked that she's pissed off," Gajeel said from Fairy Tail Team B's watch booth. "Her keys are sacred to her."

"Remember that one time that Natsu snatched them from her belt." Cana shuddered. "Never have I ever felt more fear for my life. Lucy's shout at Natsu when she discovered what he had done was terrifying. I actually though that Lucy might murder a guild mate by accident with her aura alone. She was scarier than when someone makes Erza drop her strawberry cake."

Everyone on the team shuddered. Erza was a force to be reckoned with, especially when strawberries were thrown into the picture. The fact that Lucy managed to be scarier than Erza…

"Maybe I am… you talk a big game but from what I've witnessed, it's just talk. You are nothing without your keys."

"...actually I'm not. I'm sure you've heard of Urano Metria, or at least watched the reruns on the LacrimaVision." Lucy spoke. "However, even if I had my keys, I wouldn't resort to that. I've already used that tactic once during this. I'd hate to start to become… _predictable._"

Something that was unknown to everyone, even her own guild mates, was that she had been fiddling around with other magic. Specifically, requip magic with a little help from Erza.

Erza had been ecstatic when the blonde had requested to help her learn the most basic form of requip so she would have a place to store her keys without having to worry about people stealing her keys. However, Lucy had wanted this to be her trump card and didn't tell anyone on the off chance it would have been useful in a spar.

Reaching into her own pocket dimension was weird, but it protected her keys from being stolen by people like Minerva, so Lucy didn't really mind.

"Open, Gate of the Water Spirit, Aquarius!"

Despite having told Lucy not even five minutes previously about her date, Aquarius still showed up. Could Lucy have utilized one of her fourteen other spirits? Yes. But strategically speaking, Aquarius would have the most advantage in the water. Also, despite her outward hatred to Lucy, Aquarius felt… _something_ for Lucy and the thought of Lucy being injured didn't sit well with her.

Aquarius wasn't sure if it was the contract between the two or her own deeply buried love for the girl, but right now it's irrelevant.

"Alright, _Miss Sabertooth_. You _listen here_. I am currently missing my _date_ so I can protect this annoying _brat_. So if you think that I'm not going to beat your ass as fast as spiritually possible than you _are wrong_. Take your punishment like a woman." Aquarius growled as she hefted her mighty urn. Water rushed into the urn more forcibly and faster than Lucy had ever seen.

_Aquarius was pissed_.

Minerva might have been a powerful wizard but she had _not_ expected Lucy to still have her keys. By the time she realized that a spirit had been summoned, it was too late. She was already outside the sphere and falling to the ground.

With. Zero. Points.

She had originally planned on toying with the blonde brat until the five minute time limit was up and then she'd throw her out of the sphere. But due to her own brazen actions, she had cost her team 10 points.

And that little brat gained first place in the event.

She wanted to scream, hiss, and punch. She wanted to claw up Lucy's face with her nails. She wanted to completely lose her composure and ruin both her and her father's images. But she didn't.

Because she was a mage of Sabertooth and they didn't do any of that.

But they also don't lose. Especially _not_ to Fairies.

As Lucy Heartfilia dismissed her spirit and exited the sphere and was greeted by her friends, Minerva swore under her breath.

And then she turned around and stomped out of the floor of the arena with as much dignity as she could muster.

_Father is _not _going to be pleased_. Minerva thought, eyes hardening with resolve. The Fairies would _not_ survive the next day.


	5. 4: Sorano Puts the Fear of Mavis

**DigiXBot: Here's a pretty humorous idea on who Angel should face. Remember that episode when Sabertooth had to find Frosch, and Rogue accidentally groped Yukino. I would like to see a chapter where Angel goes all Protective-Sister mode on him (and Sting for good measure). It won't be as serious as the first three chapters, but it would be cool.**

"Hey Frosch!" Rogue yelled. "Where are you?!"

"I'm sorry I lost ya!" Lector yelled.

Sting looked around, "Ugh. There's too many people here for me to pick up the scent."

Yukino gasped as she spotted Frosch, looking at a map.

"Hey guys, look, over there!"

"Alright!" Sting said, grinning happily. "Good eye!"

Rogue looks at Frosch reading the map with a slightly confused face before making a sudden realization.

"Finally!" Yukino said. Sting started running towards Frosch, but Rogue put out his hand!

"WAIT!" He cried. "Hold on...hold...on..."

Unfortunately...Rogue moved his hand just as Yukino started running after Sting. And since Rogue was slouching...well...he groped Yukino.

And bad luck for Rogue, seeing as Sorano happened to be in town. She got paroled due to her good behavior the past few weeks.

In fact, Sorano happened to be just across the street, looking directly at her younger sister and her two friends - Sting and Rogue.

Her eye started twitching violent. HOW DARE THAT...That..._man_ touch _HER_ SISTER _like _that! IN PUBLIC, no less. She started storming toward the group.

Sting had apparently gotten _very_ mad at Rogue - that was apparent by the fact that Sting kicked him down. Yukino was blushing crimson, holding her arms over her cleavage in a protective gesture.

Rogue apparently apologized to Yukino, who said something like "It's okay."

BUT IT WAS _NOT_ OKAY!

She didn't care if she did get put back into prison for this. NOBODY TOUCHED HER BABY SISTER LIKE THAT AND GOT AWAY WITH IT!

"HOW DARE YOU TOUCH MY BABY SISTER!" She roared at him, punching him in the face.

"...Sorano, is that you?" Yukino asked confused. "I thought you were dead..."

"Long story - that's not the point. The point is that I better not see either one of you touching my baby sister like that again, otherwise you _won't_ like the consequences." Sorano said. "In fact, I'm coming up with ways to kill the both of you this very moment."

"It was an accident!" Yukino said.

"Accident or not, they MUST PAY!" Sorano said fiercely, whipping out one of her Celestial keys. She had changed her primary magic to Angel Magic but it never hurt to have a backup.

Besides, once a Celestial Wizard, always a Celestial Wizard.

Sting and Rogue's screams of terror were _glorious._

**This one is actually not all that changed from the original. It's meant to be silly and so silly it shall stay. I have edited the grammar a bit and make it more canon...ish. Hope you enjoyed!**


	6. 5: Hisui Kicks Names and Takes Ass

**Me: Oh, I'll update this story in a couple of days!**

**Also me: ...whoops?**

**Sorry for not updating this story in… oh four months? Sometimes I 'fall out of love' with a fandom - I never truly leave… I mean I haven't watched Hetalia since I was in eighth grade (I'm a senior in high school now) but I have an America cosplay.**

**Oh! And to the guest who asked if I could put the original back up on Google Docs… I would love to but when I started rewriting this story I made the idiotic mistake to just write in the google doc that had the entire story in it… So I don't have the original any more. Sorry!**

Hisui E. Fiore had never wanted to kill someone so badly.

She had thought that she could trust this man. She thought that he, like her, was trying to save their land from utter destruction and despair. She was mad at him but she was mostly mad at herself.

Growing up, everyone saw her as a naive princess. They weren't wrong - she hadn't received much real life experience of well… anything. She knew she was sheltered. She hated that. But her naivety was going to cause her kingdom - her people - to crumble into nothing but ash and dust.

When this man came to her, she was skeptical. Ten thousand dragons appearing out of seeming nowhere? On a day so specific - the last day of the Grand Magic Games?

However, as the man continued his tale, Hisui couldn't help but believe him. Now she could see that it was all a lie. This man didn't want to _save_ Fiore.

He wanted to destroy it.

She clenched her fist. "How dare you?" She seethed.

"Hm?" the man… Future Rogue… looked up. "...how dare I?"

She reached for one of her keys. She was no Yukino, with two golden keys and one black, and definitely no Lucy, with ten golden keys, but she _was_ a Celestial Spirit Mage. She knew a thing or two.

"Open, Gate of Canis Major - Sirius!" she cried. A great black mutt sprang forth. His fur coat was richly groomed and shiny but his great maw was snarling at the black and white haired man in front of him. "Sirius! This man is a threat to Fiore! Rip him limb from limb if you must but do not let him get away!"

"Understood, Princess." Sirius growled before pouncing.

Despite the grandeur that goes with summoning a Celestial Spirit - they are definitely _not _the first pick for stealth - Future Rogue seemed to need a few moments before he came to his senses. He obviously had not pegged Hisui to be one to battle.

She wasn't. But she was a Princess. Assassination attempts and too-handsy creeps were part of the job description. The woe-is-me distressed maiden may work for other princesses but not for Hisui. _Those who didn't have a second blade aren't qualified to live_, one of her tutors had once said to her. (Alright it was more along the lines of assassination but that's irrelvant.)

In those moments that Future Rogue needed to realize what was going on, Sirius was able to bite deeply into Future Rogue's forearm.

The pain that erupted from Future Rogue's arm brought him back to his senses. With the arm that didn't have two hundred and fifty pounds of pure muscle biting into it, he managed to bat Sirius away.

"A dog? You really think a _dog_ can kill me?"

Hisui grinned. "Who said anything about killing you?"

She turned to Sirius - "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine Princess." Sirius panted, struggling to get up. One of his ribs was likely crushed from the blow.

"No, you are not." Hisui replied, shaking her head. "Return to the Spirit World. I have other friends I can call upon."

This time, she pulled out two keys. Her limit was usually summoning four, possibly five, Celestial Spirits a day. What she was about to do, however, was going to shorten that to three. She could hold two gates open at once but it was nastily exhausting. She had no clue how Lucy and Yukino were able to hold two golden gates open at once when golden keys are roughly ten times more powerful than your average silver key.

"Open, Gate of the Wolf - Lupus! Open, Gate of the Chained Maiden, Andromeda!"

With the tell-tale flash of light, a great wolf that was larger than her appeared. Like Sirius, his coat was black but had flecks of gray and white. Andromeda stood at about her height. She wore a simple white chiton with shackles around her wrists and ankles. Chains were attached to the shackles, rattling on the ground with every movement. Her hair was the color of midnight but it was covered with the salt of the ocean and her eyes seemed to shift between the colors of the sea. As far as silver keys go, she was one of the most powerful.

"What is your command, Princess?" Lupus questioned, eyes trained on the man before him.

"I want you to capture the man in front of us. He has committed high treason against the Kingdom of Fiore. Andromeda, be prepared."

"As you wish, milady." Andromeda bowed shortly before stepping forward, hands tangled in her chains.

Despite Future Rogue's seeming advantage, he was no match for Lupus's quick work of him, allowing Andromeda to confine him in her magic-draining chains.

Lucy, who had been perfectly content to let Hisui work her magic, smirked. _Tut tut… that's what happens when you anger a Celestial Mage… Not to mention one with mythological silver keys._ As Hisui went to slap magic-restraining cuffs over Future Rogue, Lucy called out: "Hisui, should I have them prepare a pot of boiling oil to dunk him in?"

Hisui looked up, "What, do you want to tar and feather him? It's not as if he _doesn't_ deserve it but I'm not sure the courts of Fiore would appreciate something so… barbaric."

Lucy sighed. "Maybe next time…"

Hisui smiled. "Next time, for sure."

-x792-

"It's such a shame Zeref died." sighed Hisui.

Everyone in the room looked at her. The general consensus was _Why?_

Seeing the sea of confusion, Hisui elaborated. "I promised Lucy that we would tar and feather the next perpetrator that threatened Fiore…"


	7. 6:The Palace Guard That F&cked Up

**How to Anger Celestial Mages for Dummies**

**Chapter 6 – Oh I'm Sorry. Did you just insult my gender?**

**Ashviqua Kadar:** Nice HP reference. I had an idea... well two. You know how Arcadios has so much faith in his princess. Can you have a flashback pre GMGs to show how he finally believed that she could be a good ruler despite her gender and magic. Probably some newbie guard hitting on her.

I kept this one close to the original, just fixed some of the spelling and reworded a couple of things.

* * *

Alexandre Knochenmus was known for being sexist, an idiot, sexist, and an idiot.

His own mother swore that she had dropped him on his head as a baby one too many times and now Alexandre didn't have any common sense.

Hardly her fault though.

Mr. Knochenmus had been known for having no common sense since birth either. Must be hereditary.

Mr. Knochenmus had been killed during a border scuffle with Bosco. He doesn't really matter.. What does matter is that Alexandre had wanted to follow in his father's footsteps as a soldier of Fiore. However, Alexandre hadn't exactly been planning on being placed on guard duty at the palace after basic.

He found that it wasn't too bad either. Pretty girls came to the palace and left just as easily. _Must have some hard-core partying going on_. He thought.

One girl, however, he didn't recognize.

There was Sasha, the fierce brunette that was having an affair with the king's cousin-in-law, Felix. There was Tiana, that beautiful babe who always had her hair tumbling off her shoulders in such a way that Alexandre almost couldn't stop from abandoning his post every time he saw her.

Georgia, that secretary who always refused to date him no matter how many times he asked.

Leanna, one of the King's advisors, who was always wearing the most spiffing things that Alexandre could imagine.

But this green haired, green eyed chick wearing a cream colored dress? Who the hell was she?

"Hey, I need to see some ID." Alexandre stopped her.

"I live here. I'm the Princess." the "Princess" claimed.

"Oh yeah? You – the Princess? I thought that Princess' are supposed to be beautiful, poised, and collected. You don't fit into any of those categories." Alexandre replied. She certainly wasn't his type, she had a slight slouch - if she claimed it was because of her heels he would laugh, and she seemed easy to angry.

"Don't make me call the guards on you." the "Princess" warned.

Alexandre rolled his eyes. "You've got the spoiled brat part down."

The green haired, green eyed chick rolled her eyes and brought out two keys. "Listen, I didn't want to do this. I'm giving you one last chance. Either you let me through that gate, or you will have a _very_ painful life ahead of you."

"Threatening a palace guard? First claiming to be the princess and now this? Oh – you are just asking for a treason charge!" Alexandre replied, laughing.

The "Princess" rolled her eyes and swung both keys down. "Open, Gate of the Hunter, Orion! Open, Gate of the Chained Lady, Andromeda!"

Orion was a rather handsome man that was roughly nineteen or so. He was tall – much too tall to be a human, but still tall enough to pass as an overly tall human. On his back was a quiver, and in his hands, a bow with an arrow already knocked. He had dark hair that was roughly shoulder length. The only thing that was extremely noticeable about him was his golden eyes.

Thousands of years ago, Orion had been a friend of Artemis, the goddess of the Hunt and archery. When he died at the hands of Artemis' twin brother, Apollo, Artemis placed him in the stars as a constellation, thus joining the ranks of Celestial Spirits

He wasn't a Golden Key or anything, but there was only one known key of Orion. And she had him.

"Lady Hisui," Andromeda greeted. "Who are we dismembering today?"

Hisui grinned and pointed at Alexandre. "Give him a good scare. Remind him that it is not a smart idea to anger a Celestial Mage. One that is a princess at that."

Alexandre swore that he didn't scream, but that would, of course, be a lie.

He had messed up. _Big time_.

When all was said and done, Alexandre murmured an apology.

"Oh, what was that? Did you just insult my gender?" Hisui grinned wickedly. She had already dismissed Andromeda and Orion. "Open, Gate of the Canis Major, Sirius! Open, Gate of the Wolf, Lupus!"

Off to the side, Arcadios looked contemplative.

His princess might like blood a _bit_ too much, but at least she seemed like a fair and decent ruler...

As long as you didn't insult her gender, or make her pull out that 'Celestial Mage' card.

Her spirits were _scary_.

* * *

Orion's looks like Sebastian Stan's when he's Bucky.


End file.
